Category: Lawyer Jokes
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That's not an attorney! -- That's God.
A judge of some thirty years passed away unexpectedly. Upon his passing he as greeted by an angel who explained he was there to guide the judge to heaven. The angel introduced himself and added, "and I must say it is truly an honor to meet you." As they slowly headed closer to the pearly gates the judge suddenly stopped dead in his tracks and in no uncertain terms said, "Listen, I don't care how rare it is for someone of my stature to make it up here, but if there are any attorneys in there, I'm not going in. I'm tired of them all. I'd rather suffer an eternity in hell than argue with another minute with an attorney." Arriving at the pearly gates, and with much eyebrow raising by the heavenly host, the judge was determined to be worthy to enter heaven. "One moment, St. Peter," said the judge as the gates to heaven swung open for him, "just one thing, I'm tired of being around attorneys. I've been around them all of my life. Are there any inside? Because if there are, the deal's off and you can just send me to hell right now!" "Certainly not!" cried St. Peter, "You're quite safe. There are no attorneys in here." Feeling reassured, the judge pressed on and through the pearly gates into heaven. The judge found heaven very enjoyable until one day when all of a sudden a very elderly gentleman with a long white beard, wearing a suit and carrying a briefcase in one hand and a handful of papers in the other pushed past him mumbling something about be late for court. Enraged, the judge stormed back to St. Peter. "Hey! St. Peter!" cried the judge, "You said there were no attorneys here." "There aren't," stammered St. Peter. "I bed to differ," the angered judge promptly retorted, then pointing to the elderly man, "What does that elderly guy over there look like to you?" demanded the judge. "Oh my," St. Peter said laughingly, "That's not an attorney! -- That's God. He just thinks he's an attorney!"

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